It’s Personal: Modern Reality TV Is an Emotional Experience for Cast and Crew

The idea that reality TV isn’t all that real is not new. For as long as we’ve had unscripted television, we’ve had skeptics. And, while it may be true that some of what is aired is the result of clever strategy and bold tactics, the emotions that draw you to your screen each week are mostly genuine. 

Even more interesting, perhaps, is that they aren’t limited to the cast. Producers and crew members are just as likely to experience intense emotions during the filming of a reality TV series. Why? Because we’re invested. We purposely place ourselves in the thick of some of the most emotional situations we can manufacture to create good TV. Here’s how it affects us. 

Our life doesn’t revolve around the show; it is the show. 

Unscripted television is tricky. For it to be any good, we need access to countless hours of footage. The 45 minutes that make it on air are the culmination of hundreds, if not thousands, of hours of filming. Good TV doesn’t care that the rest of the world clocks out at 5:00 PM — not when all the best conversations happen after 9:00 PM. The result, for most crew members, is that the line between work and home becomes increasingly blurred. 

We spend all of our hours surrounded by co-workers and cast. They are the ones present when we receive an emotional phone call or start feeling a bit under the weather. They are the ones offering up bits of advice and personal anecdotes designed to make our long, taxing hours a little easier to manage. So, even if it’s unintentional, they are the ones with whom we form emotional bonds. 

Legal stipulations and sequestering serve to deepen these relationships ever farther. When we’re contractually bound to refrain from speaking about the work that takes up the majority of our time, conversation at home might suffer. Conversation at work, though, flourishes. Our co-workers must follow the same rules and we often turn to one another to discuss whatever thoughts bear repeating. It’s something we all have in common, so it’s no wonder that it provides a solid foundation for strong relationships. Like viewers, the emotion in these conversations hinges directly on the emotion exhibited on set. Proximity alone makes it impossible for us to ignore the daily barrage of feelings left lingering by the cast.

“Fake it ‘til you make it” takes on a whole new meaning. 

Forging emotional bonds with co-workers is one thing. Creating them with the stars is another entirely. When a show is ready to be cast, we spend months selecting the right candidates. We purposely look for people willing to loosen a few buttons in front of the camera. In some cases, the closer they are to a public breakdown, the better. Then, once we’ve found the right mix of people, we carefully place them in situations engineered to draw out that emotion. When coupled with the stress associated with isolation and intense filming schedules, they’re bound to need a shoulder sooner or later. 

We know that many cast members crave emotional support during filming, and we work incredibly hard to be the ones to provide it. We need them to trust us enough to act natural on camera. Natural reactions. Natural conversation. Natural emotion. So, we do everything in our power to make each person feel comfortable with the producers and the crew around them. But, what often starts out as an insincere attempt to gain the trust of another human being frequently morphs into an actual emotional connection. Take Finding Prince Charming, for example. In a show aimed at helping one of thirteen suitors find love with a nation’s gay heartthrob, there is bound to be emotions. My team and I (and the rest of the world) will never forget Eric Leonardos, who opened up about living life with HIV in hopes of erasing the stigma surrounding the virus.

It takes a lot of determination and some lengthy conversations to get a stranger to trust us enough to tell their story, especially when they are aware that we probably already know it.  The end goal is to get them to open up about what they’re feeling the instant they begin to feel it so that we can determine where those emotions would best suit production. Sometimes, we have to share bits and pieces of ourselves for the process to work. We feign friendliness and empathy until we actually begin to feel friendly and empathetic. We force laughter, tears, and frustration to mimic their happiness, grief, or anger. In trying to gain a cast member’s trust, we are opening the door to personal emotional investment. Eventually, the feelings aren’t that fake anymore.

Working in reality TV is hard. There’s absolutely no doubt about that. It’s emotionally taxing and mentally straining. That being said, having learned how to conjure emotional connections with near strangers, I am much more prepared to service the emotional connections I have with the people that matter. I’ve become skilled at recognizing what my loved ones are feeling, and I have a unique database of actions likely to correspond with those feelings. I know how to differentiate between forced emotion and genuine sentiments, and I know which situations are likely to worsen or better the mood. It takes a tough person to navigate the battlefield of reality TV production. It takes a tender person to do it well.